I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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