You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
