yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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