singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
