I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
