just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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