Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
