She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I seem to have left my pride at pride
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
