Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
