I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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