Already got asked if we're dating
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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