I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
