Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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