Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
