I'm jealous of your bromance
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
