I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
