Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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