Having a random hookup so left but love u
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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