Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
