I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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