When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
