I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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