hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
