And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I could fuck to npr.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
