the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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