as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
