i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
