So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize