Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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