So drunk its hurt
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
