ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You smell like stripper and shame
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
