i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
