My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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