Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
