Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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