Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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