I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
