If i come over, it means nothing
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
