she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
3pm strippers are depressing
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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