why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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