I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
