my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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