I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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