Fuck appropriateness.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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