I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
