I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize