i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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