Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
