So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
