U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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