hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
