I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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