And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
