I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
