The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
