I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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