Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize