He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
And then he peed in my hair
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