so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
