john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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