I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
