If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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