Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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