Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
