it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
