eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Small penises have feelings too.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
