Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
